...jumble...

It is at times like these I do not know how to approach a blog. My experience is more in the area of journaling. I think that the journals did help me develop a voice that was honest. (Well, there's always room for more honesty; we hide ourselves reflexively, and almost never can take off all the layers...) So, not honest, but honest-ish and open to the fact that it may turn out I am very wrong. Oh, and the taking responcibility that is my own experience, not a truth for the ages. With the same caveats as above.
I don't know what to say. I am, of course, still processing my feelings on the whole tabasco (I know, fiasco, but I want to be mrs. malaprop, and this is my blog so I get to.) And I'm trying to rush myself--I want to figure out what I'm doing 11 months from now--right now! I want to get to some sort of end game, that rewards those injured and injures those who were careless with the rest of us. I want to hand feed some people crow. And I don't much feel like plucking it--they can eat the feathers, too.
How much of myself dare I reveal on line? If I say something that's true now, because of the rawness and the grief, will I want to, be forced to, stand by it in a year's time?

In some odd way, it comes at a good time. I want to stand back from my involvement on the boards--it takes up so much time--and maybe move into blogging. I've certainly had enough impetus to blog--nothing like pain to inspire the writing.

And, of course, if I stop going to the event, I will have time and money to do something else.